insomnia.

so i've been having more and more trouble sleeping lately. i went to bed at like 3am this morning; then woke up at 4:30am (cause of my cats) and then didn't fall back asleep until 8am - waking up at like 11ish. ugh. worst sleep ever. and i'm not even a little tired right now. i'm actually pretty wired. believe it or not... i only had a little caffeine today.

i did some thinking; and its not that i'm not ready to move to the oc; i'm scared. i'm deathly afraid of change; always have been (but i'm not afraid of semi-colons). i could move there, most people my age would, given this chance (and circumstances)... i think anyway. i'm just afraid to move from family and my friends here. i dont have many friends here, my bestest moved to OC and well... the other friends i have here have husbands & kid; well, one of them just has a boyfriend, no kid. i thought i had more friends out this way, weird. anyway... it does make sense to move down there. my friends there are single and younger... but i'm just afraid i'd get really lonely. it really all comes back to, i'm afraid, deathly afraid of change.

hung out with todd piperi the other night. it was cool; guy hasn't changed, not that i thought he had or would have... but still. just interesting. can't say my high school crush is gone though; some things just don't go away. hopefully him and i can hang out again sometime... we'll see though. i want to be friends. again.

um, what else... griffith observatory tomorrow with nickey & mary... that is super exciting. i wish i had more money, cause i think we're going shopping afterwards. stupid unemployment; although, if i had a job i wouldn't be going.

then this weekend... i'm supposed to go to nevada with ally, i think? she hasn't called, and well, if i were driving to another state i would have made the plans with the other person by now; especially since she wants to leave thursday at 1pm. god i hope i dont have to go. it is SERIOUSLY bad timing. maybe i'll message her.. or call her tomorrow and see if i can get out of it. i dont know the girl she is visiting in nevada, i mean i did like 14 years ago, and i honestly didn't like her. she punched me in the stomach once. can't say she is high on my list. damn i hope i can get out of it.

anyway... i'm going to go lay down and pretend to unwind.
xo