i like fair.

i wish life was more fair.

i went up to oakhurst this past weekend. it was so wonderful up there... i went up with my friend ally to visit her parents. their house up there is so beautiful and the 2 acres they live on are just to die for. its exactly the kind of place i wish my parents could afford when they retire. so yeah, i had a lot of fun, we just hung out, went to a lot of museums [i love museums], took pictures [which i'll post soon], went in the spa, went on a steam train ride... and i watched madelynn [ally's 6 year old daughter, seriously so adorable] pan for gold. it really was such a relaxing little trip. i hated coming home. its depressing coming home to reality.

so, speaking of my parents, i want to try and help them out more. i dont do nearly as much as i should. i am very selfish and i really need to change this about myself. as soon as i get a job, i'm going to try and give them a lot more money to help them out, i want to start a savings account for them so maybe i can fund a really great vacation for them... i need to start helping out more around the house also. i'm too lazy.

i need to start working on being a "doer" and not such a "dreamer". i talk about doing stuff and never do it or if i do start, i never complete anything. its one of my BIGGEST issues and i need to some how overcome it. i have a lot of "me work" to do, but this is like numero ono.

i can't stand so much about myself, i need to start working on it, so i can be a happier person. i want a boyfriend so bad lately, or at least the prospect of one, i seriously haven't had a prospect in quite awhile... and the prospects i've had, really had no chance with me, they were very much a bunch of mr. wrongs. i need to figure out how to be a doer instead of a dreamer. how how how?

this is depressing stuff. i'm gunna go watch dawsons creek.